Bhavnaao ko Samjho

boy to girl: I LOVE U.
Girl: Ruko m abhi sir ko jaake bolti hu.
.
.
.
Boy: Pagal sir ko mat bolna, Unki shadi ho chuki h, unke ghar aag lagayegi kya??

TAU JHAGRU

TAU HARYANA ROADWAYS KI BUS MAI AAGE KE CHADHAN LAGYA.

CONDUCTOR: TAU PAACHHE KE

TAU: KYUN AAGE KE LEEP RAKHI SE.

Foji Ki Family

Bhaio Ek Baar Ek Foji Bhai ke Rajasthan ke border per duty laag rahi they or bhaio Sardian (Winter) ke din aagey to Foji ne Socha ke Parivar tain meley ghaney din hoge kyon na apni 'Family' n Haade ey Bulaloon. Usne Bhai Gharan Chithi Likhi "Ke Babu Sardi Suru Hogey Hain or Merey 'Family' ne Bhej do". Eb Bhai Boodha sooch me pad ga ke ya 'Family' Ke Ho Hai, Pher us ne Andaja Lagaya Ke Chorey ne Sardian mey 'Family' Mangai hai to Family ka matlab Rajaai ho hai to bhai budhey ne bhey chitti girwa di "Ke Bhai Beta Dekh Terey 'Family' to Balkaan ne pichley jaadan me hey paad di thi ar tane bera e hai main to soon a bina 'Family' ka per beta kawe to pados ke bheem ke 'Family' Bhej doon, wa nai bhi se.

ek bandi I-card ki photocopy

Ek bandi I-card ki photocopy kraane aaye, aur chilla ke boli "bhaiyaaa.. jaldi se aage aur pichhe se do do baar kar do"

Mast Chutkula

Doctor: Ab aapki tabiyat kaisi hai ?

Patient: Doctor saheb.. Pahle se jyada kharab ho gayi hai.

Doctor: dawai khali thi kya ?

Patient : Nahi doctor saheb. Dawai ki shishi to bhari hui thi.

Doctor: Arey... mere kahne ka matlab hai ki, dawai le li thi kya.

Patient: Ji, aapne dawai de di thi aur Maine le li thi.

Doctor: Abe, dawai pili thi kya ?

Patient: Oho, nahi doctor saheb dawai to laal thi.

Doctor: Abe GADHE, Dawai KO piliya tha kya ?

Patient : Nahi. Doctor, Piliya to mujhe tha.

Doctor: Abe Teri to, Dawai KO muh lagakar Pet me dala tha k nahi ?

Patient: Nahi doctor saheb.

Doctor: Kyon ?

Patient: Kyonki dhakkan band tha.

Doctor: Teri to sale, to Khola kyon nahi.

Patient: Saheb, aapne hi to kaha tha ki, shishi ka dhakkan band rakhna.

Doctor: Tera ilaaz main nahi kar sakta !

Toilet me aadmi

admi
public
toilet me betha tha
achanak usse sath
waale toilet se awaz aai
...Kya haal hai ?
Admi ghabra kr bola :
...Theek huu....
Phir awaz aai
Kya kar rahe ho ?
Admi ---> betha huu
Phir awaz aai
Main aa jaun ?
Admi aur ghabra ke
bola :
Nahi nahi main busy huu
Phir awaz aayi
Acha yaar main tumhe
baad me call karta huu ,
Abhi koi ullu ka patha
sath wale toilet se meri
har baat ka jwab de
raha hai..

Aulad hai tu meri

Kid to his Mom: Mumma main kaise paida hua? 
Mom: Maine ek vessel me mitti dal kr rakh di, kuch din baad usme seh tum mile mujhe.. 

kid did the same thing.
jub kuch din baad usne jaa kar dekha toh usme ek mendak tha... 

kid: (gussey me) .. dil toh karta hain ki tujhe goli maar duh ... per kya karu... aulad hai tu meri..