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Friday, December 16, 2011
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Kheer jat ki
ek baniya,ek jat sath raha karte. ek din plan banai ki aaj kheer banawange. Bdhiya dhal kheer banai badam kaju dal ke. wa bangi kuch thodi, to donu ke man main beyimani aaggi. ladayi bee hogi fir ek faisla huya ki kheer kal subhai wo khayaga jisko badhiya sapna dikhega. donu so gaye. baniya der tak sochta raha ke kuch jhoot bolna pdega , bdhiya sa sapna chochloo. subhai baniya ne apna redimade sapna suniya diya ki main to surag main chala gaya etc. fir jat ke sunavan ki bareeeee aayi. jat bolya ki bhai ke batau ratt sapne main hanuman ji aagay aur mujhe thaa ke bolya ki yaa sari kheer khaa, main to usko nhan bhee bhatari kari per bhai meri dhab ne gadda thaa li pher main ke karta. sari kheer khani padi.
My new website
My new website
Labels:
Haryanvi Comedy
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Teacher Ka taufa
Ek baar kisi school mein 'Teachers Day' manaya ja raha tha. Kindergarten ki teacher ko sabhi baache tofa de rahe thee.
Ek baacha jis ke baap ki phoolon ki dukan thee usne bhi teacher ko gift diya.
Teacher jisko sab ke bare mein pata tha, wo gift bag ko dekh ker boli," Mein bata sakti hun ki yeh kya hoga, phool! kyun sahi na?"...Bacha bola," Bilkul sahi!!!... Per teacher, aapko kese pata chala?" Teacher ne style mein kaha," Oh, bus yunhi!". Phir Toffee wale ki beti ka number ayaa. Teacher ne gift box ko uthaya, upar kar ke dekha, hilaya, aur es baar boli," Mughe es ka bhi pata hai ki yeh kya hoga, Toffee se bhara box!" Jab ladki ne kaha ki sahi hai per teacher aapko kese pata chala, To teacher ne phir wahi bante hue kaha," Bus yunhi pata chal gaya!"
Ab jo gift ayaa wo nanhe pappu ka tha, jis ke baap ki Angrezi Daru ki dukan thee. Teacher ne gift ko utha ker dekha, per wa boond-boond leak kar raha tha! Teacher ne ek bood ungli se chui aur apni jeeb per rakh ker kaha," Yeh to 'Wine' hai, kyun?" Pappu bola ,"Ji nahi". Ab ki baar phir teacher ne jeeb se chata aur kaha, " To phir 'Champagne' hai?"
" Nahi!" Pappu ne is baar bhi sar hila diya. Teacher ne ek akhri baar phir se boond chaati per jab kuch samajh na aya to boli," Bhai main haar gayi, tumhi kaho, kaya hai? Pappu jhat se bola," Ek chota sa, Kutte ka pilla!"
Ek baacha jis ke baap ki phoolon ki dukan thee usne bhi teacher ko gift diya.
Teacher jisko sab ke bare mein pata tha, wo gift bag ko dekh ker boli," Mein bata sakti hun ki yeh kya hoga, phool! kyun sahi na?"...Bacha bola," Bilkul sahi!!!... Per teacher, aapko kese pata chala?" Teacher ne style mein kaha," Oh, bus yunhi!". Phir Toffee wale ki beti ka number ayaa. Teacher ne gift box ko uthaya, upar kar ke dekha, hilaya, aur es baar boli," Mughe es ka bhi pata hai ki yeh kya hoga, Toffee se bhara box!" Jab ladki ne kaha ki sahi hai per teacher aapko kese pata chala, To teacher ne phir wahi bante hue kaha," Bus yunhi pata chal gaya!"
Ab jo gift ayaa wo nanhe pappu ka tha, jis ke baap ki Angrezi Daru ki dukan thee. Teacher ne gift ko utha ker dekha, per wa boond-boond leak kar raha tha! Teacher ne ek bood ungli se chui aur apni jeeb per rakh ker kaha," Yeh to 'Wine' hai, kyun?" Pappu bola ,"Ji nahi". Ab ki baar phir teacher ne jeeb se chata aur kaha, " To phir 'Champagne' hai?"
" Nahi!" Pappu ne is baar bhi sar hila diya. Teacher ne ek akhri baar phir se boond chaati per jab kuch samajh na aya to boli," Bhai main haar gayi, tumhi kaho, kaya hai? Pappu jhat se bola," Ek chota sa, Kutte ka pilla!"
Labels:
Haryanvi Comedy
DULHA CHAALYA BAHU LENE
pahle jmane mein jab nai dulan pahli baar layani hoti thi to kafi jugad jhooth aur sach ka karna padta tha.bhane bannnane padte they ke maa bimar se,ya gehun katne se,ya ghraan koi roti poun wali na se.....?
ek be ek chhorra apni susrad chalya gaya,te aagle din jib chalan lagaya to sir khujlake apni sassu te bolya ke saasu ji meri maa bimar se aap isne...?bhej dete.uski saas boli ke na ebke nahi aagle saal bhejenge,wo sarmaata hua bolya ke pher mein aapni maa ne jaa ke ke kahun...?uski saas boli beta apni maa ne ja ke maa hi kahiye aur ke kahvega...?
Thursday, December 8, 2011
jaat ka angrezi naam
Saachi baat suno bhai.aaj tain dhaai saal pehla main india tain pehli bar Dublin aaya thha. poonch gya bhai ,er aura ki tariyan part time naukri bhi toh li. eeb mera naam anand koi bi angrez sahi na bole.main bhi dukhi er ve bhi dukhi.ek din maine ve saare bulaye er main bola -listen you have problem in pronouncing my name so i tell you my nickname today.tell me if you are comfortable with this name or not?.Bhai, wo din sai er aaj ka din sai un angreja nai kadde bhi taklif na hoyi wo naam len main er maine bhi suaad aa gya apna wo naam sun kai.eeb nue nahi boojoge ek maine apna nick name ke bataya un angreja tain.............................................. ..FOOFA.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Bach ke rehna!!!
Ek aadmi sadak pe paedal kahnee ja raha tha, ke thabhi use ek awaaz sunai di,"Whaani ruk ja baccha! Ek aur kadam bhi uthaya to tere sar pe ek eenth girne waali hai, jis se tu mar jayega!!!
Aadmi wanhee ruk gaya aur thabhi ek eenth theek uske samne aa ker jor se giri. Aadmi aschariye-chakit reh gaya. Wo phir chal pada, aur thodi der baad ek sadak ke paar jaane laga.
Wahi awaaz phir sunai di," Whaani ruk ja baccha! Ek aur kadam bhi uthaya to teri takkar ek vahan se ho jaane waali hai, jis se tu mar jayega!!!
Aadmi ne vaisa hi kiya, aur usne dekha ke ek bahut tez aati car usko thoda sa hi bachaati hui nikal gayi.
"Tum kaun ho?" Aadmi ne es baar us awaaz se poocha,"Kaun ho bhai!?!"
"Main ek dev-doot hun, jis kaa kaam sirf tumhari bhalaie sochna hai!" Us awaaz ne kaha.
"Aacha?"es baar wo aadmi tunak ker bola,"Aabe rehne bhi de, aisa hi hai to jab meri shaadi ho rahi thee to tu khaan tha???"
Labels:
bach ke rahna
Monday, December 5, 2011
घास का गट्ठर
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एक बै एक ताऊ शहर मै घूमन गया ,उसके बाल बहुत बढे हुए थे .
ताऊ नै देख कर 4-5 छोरे ताऊ के पास आ के बोले के ताऊ जी ,आप के सर पर बाल हैं या घास का गट्ठर ?
ताऊ बोल्या :- ओहो ,इसलिए , मै भी हैरान था की आखिर ये गधे मेरे पाछे क्यों कट्ठे होन लाग रे सें ?
Tau comment in chupaad
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Ek bari ek sadyal sa aadmi tha.. ghana he bhunda aur kasut kala..kade kade nhaya karta tha.. uski bhu bhi bhundi se aaye.. uske do chorey ho gaye vo bhi kasut bhunnde... ise rahte they ..janoo te do -teen sal te chorey nahey hi nahi...
Ek din vo balkain ne le kar barat main chala gaya.. saanjh ne chupaad main apne dono chorey ko nahwan lag gaya....maar maar ragde... maar mar ragde... sara he mael utara tha...chopad main ganah he paani lag gaya.... chori wala ki taraf se ek tau yo sab dekh raha tha....us te rukky a na gaya aur bolya... BARAT ne nha len de en bangain ( bringles) ne pachhey dho liye
Labels:
Tau comments
हाज़िरजवाबी
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एक बार बस माँ दो बालक , ड्राईवर के पास वाली सीट प् बैठे बतलान लागरे , आर उन माँ ता एक बार बार नु क रा
"भाई मेरे माँ -बाप जा पुलिस माँ होते न ता मैं भे आज थानेदार होता "
अगर मेरे माँ -बाप मास्टर होते ता मैं भे आज मास्टर होता
अगर मेरे माँ -बाप डॉक्टर होते ता मैं भे आज डॉक्टर होता
जा मेरे माँ -बाप इंजिनियर होते ता मैं भे आज बहुत बड़ा इंजिनियर होता .
ता भाई इसा तरिया वो बार बार ये अ बात दोहरावा था .
एब वो ड्राईवर भय घनी हान त सुने था परेसान हो क गुसे मा बोला
"अगर तेरे मा -बाप कुते -कुतिया (Dog-Bitch) होते त तू के होता "
छोरा भे उस्ताद था बोल्या
"ड्राईवर "
Labels:
Hajirjwabi
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