Chatting

Modern Romantic Girlfriend

Girl- Jab tumhe meri yaad aati hai to tum kya karte ho

Boy- main tumhari Favourite Icecream kha leta hu aur tum?

Girl- main GOLD FLAKE pee leti hu

hips dont lie

Pappu-aaj breakfast kya kiya?

Chintu-Sandwiches
Pappu- Jhooth, Mooli ke parathe khaye hai na?

Chintu -How do u know?

Pappu- Lips can Lie but hips don't lie!

Haryanvi Joke Link

Keep on visiting http://bestharyanvijokes.blogspot.com/ to read the best haryanvi jokes

If you want your Haryanvi jokes or joke in any other language to be included in this blog, You can put it in comments below this post with your name. I will make it a post with your name.

Thank You friends for reading and appreciating my jokes

Smart Kid

ek bacha bus driver ke peeche wali seat par shor macha rha. Bacha bola, " agar mera baap sher aur meri maa herni hoti, to main chhota sher hota.....agar mere papa haathi aur meri maa hathini hoti to main chhota haathi hota"

Ye sun ke driver bola, "agar tera baap kutta aur teri maa kutiya hoti, to tu kya hota?"

Bacha bola,"agar aisa hota to main bus driver hota"

ek be ek gaam mein

ek bey ek gaam mein ek skool(school) kati shamshaanghat ke jad mein tha.. to jad bhi gaam mein koi maut ho jati to skool ki chhutti(holiday) ho janti...ek din 2 balak bastaa thaaye school main aan laag re they, to raste me 2 budhe bidi peen laag re they...to ek balak doosre te bolya, " dekh re, aapni 2 chhutti bidi peen laag ri sai"

Chhori fasaani aawe sai?

Chhori fasaani aawe sai?

nhi aati na?

ek kagaj ka jagaaj bnaao , jib master aave to usne class me uda do

master bhuje to us chhori ka naam le lo

bas fas gi chhori

Teri ya bandook garjni kab band hogi

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Ek baar Sundu ek office main kaam kera kerta ar Maange bhi use office main tha. Ar bahi Sundu ke paani peen te hogi pet main dikkat kitte bhi jaawe ude e leek hoja ar kati nahi sharmaawe. Eb ek hafta ho liya fer bhi na theek hui ar seat thee uske Maange ke saare. Maange bhi kati dukhi ho liya eb kerda dhabbi kame kawe te bura maan ja.
Jab baat bardast te bahar hogi te Ek din Maange bola sundu te Bhai Sundu thaare koi kutta kona ke. Sundu bola na ke hoga. Bola re manne padwa e deta use te chutti mil jaati 10-15 din ki arna ek kaam ker thara tractor chada de meri taang pe. Te 2 mahina ki chutti mil ja.Sundu Bola ke teri chori ka bahya se itne din ki chutti chaawe se tanne ar keh ke pher rog kaat diya.
Eb te Maange paagal ho liya ar sundu ne bola bhai byah wyah te konya ar na chutti ke jaroorat per teri is three not three ki naal te preshaan ho liya. Eb chaahe te nyu beta de ke laambi chutti kyuker mile arna nyu beta de teri ya bandook garjni kab band hogi

vishvidyalaya

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Ek bar ek aadmi gaya kurukshetra. Station par utar ke riksha wala ke dhore gaya. Usne sochi is ricksha waley ko engrezi to aati nahi hogi isliye hindi me puchta hu. Usne bhuji" bhai vishvidaylaya chalogey?"
Ricksha walo bola "babu kyo engrezi me boltey ho yeh bolo na anibersity chalogey?"

master

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Pita:-"tumhaare maaster ki chitthi aaee hai, unhone kahaa hai ki tumhe padhaane me unhe bahut mushki hoti hai"
Beta:-"maine to pahle hee kahaa thaa ki bekaar maaster hai"

tera bhi 100 ka

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Ek be ek budiya aapne 4-5 balka ne le ke bus aadde pe khadi thi .
Budiya ki jad me ek college ki chhori jama katai tyar hoke(jeans jans par ke ne)
bhi khadi thi collge me javan khatar .
To budiya ke ek balak ka haath chhori ki
jeans ke lag gya arr chhori pat ke padi us balak
kanya boli dikhta nahi hatja parene "khareez"
( jayda se balak kisi gel ho te inne khariz kaha diya kare)(khareez means change ya khulle paise aka bhaan)
Ya baat budiya ne bhi sun li aur budiya pe konya raha gaya boli chhori thode din datti raha tera bhi 100 ka tut jaga.

tu ke dhok maran tahi rakha se

screw driver
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Ek baar ek jat bhai ne nayi maruti kharidi,
le aaya ghara , khadi kar di la ke, ghar ke shami ( front), te ji jo bhi aata nayi maruti khadi dekhta, saare padosiyain ne dekh li ki , haan bhai jat ne maruti kharidi se.
Te ek din ek padosi aaya jat dhore , aur badhayi di maruti ki, aur bola
"bhai tene ya le te li, par ya khali ghar ke aage khadi karan tahi kona hoya karti, isnein chalaya bhi karein",
to jat bola "aacha bhai, par mene te ya kona chalani aati, ibb ke karu"
Vo padosi bola " kare ke, ek driver rakh le, jit bhi tane jana hoga, vo ye chala ke le jaga"
to ji jat ne driver rakh liya, aur ek din likad gaya ghuman tahi baith ke maruti mein, driver chalayen aala.
ek sunsaan ji jagah pe jake maruti ruk gayi, to jat bola aare yo ke ho gaya isemein,
driver bola " dekhu su , ji"
driver ne dekha , aur bola " ji isska ek nut dhila ho gaya hai, "screw driver" lana padega"
to ye sun ke jat bola
" aare susre , je ya chalan tahi screw driver e lana tha, to tu ke dhok maran tahi rakha se"

‎1st Aadmi: Aap Ka Kutta Toh Sher Jesa Lagta Hai
Kiya Khilate Ho Is Ko?

2nd Aadmi: Ye Kameena Sher Hi Hai,
Saala Pyar Wyaar K Chakkar Me Par Gya Tha
Toh Shakal Kuttay Waali Ho Gai Hai. :-]

Daadi ko BHAGWATGEETA ka path karte dekh,,,
Pota apni maa se bola,,,,
Maa daadi konse exam ki Tyari kr rhi h,,,
Maa: Beta ye "FINAL" ki tyari hai..........!...........@

Gift to a jaatni

b/f gift a teddy to g/f...
english g/f:-o ma god its so beautiful,luv ya huny
muslmanni:- ya rabba,,masha allah itna ajiz tohfa,khush kar diya
sardarni:-oye main vari jawan,kinna sona si
Jaatni:- YO KE DE DIYA BANDER SA

Courtesy : Parvesh Narwal