Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Girl:"Janu kal mera b’day hai,

Girl:"Janu kal mera b’day hai,
.
.
Boy:"Darling Advance me happy b’day,
.
.
Girl:"kya gift doge..
.
.
Boy:"kya chaiye..
.
.
Girl:"RING...
.
.
.
.
Boy:"Ring dunga par uthana mat BALANCE nahi hai...

Thursday, August 1, 2013

एक मासूम हिमालय की तराई में भेड़े चरा रहा था

एक मासूम हिमालय की तराई में भेड़े चरा रहा था, तभी वहा से एक गुज़रते हुए पर्यटक ने लड़के से पूछा, "ये भेड़े कितना दूध देती है ?"

लड़का: कौनसी, सफ़ेद वाली या काली वाली ?

पर्यटक: सफ़ेद वाली।

लड़का: 3 लीटर।

पर्यटक: और काली वाली ?

लड़का: ये भी 3 लीटर देती है।

पर्यटक: ये ऊन कितनी देती है।

लड़का: कौनसी सफ़ेद वाली या काली वाली ?

पर्यटक: सफ़ेद वाली।

लड़का: 5 किलो।

पर्यटक: और काली वाली ?

लड़का: वो भी 5 किलो।

पर्यटक: अबे साले जब ये दूध बराबर देती है, ऊन बराबर देती है तो फिर ये काली भेड़ ,सफ़ेद भेड़ क्या लगा रखी है?

लड़का: जी वो बात ये है की ये सफ़ेद भेड़ मेरे पिताजी की है।

पर्यटक: और ये काली भेड़ ?

लड़का: ये भी मेरे पिताजी की ही है

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Barber: baal chote karne hai?.

Barber: baal chote karne hai?......Me-"Saale tu bade bhi kar saktahai kya?" 

Sunday, July 28, 2013

Technological Mistake



Late night, boy drops the girl at her home, on the gate, he puts his hand onthe wall n says; "can I kiss u

Girl:" nhi aaj nhi..

Boy:" plz ??

Girl:" no..

Boy:" de do na jaan ??

Girl:" no yaar abhi nahi..
.
This continues for 10 mints,

Then Girl's little brother appears on door, says;
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"papa keh rahe hai, tum ise kiss do ya na do tumhari marzi..

par is begairat se kaho INTERCOM k button se hath utha le..

Iski bakwas pura ghar sun raha hai.................

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Ranking of Haryana Engineering Colleges recommended by Vikram Madhosinghana


1 YMCA Institute of Engg, Faridabad---Computer Engg.
2 YMCA Institute of Engg, Faridabad---Electronics and Communication Engg.
3 YMCA Institute of Engg, Faridabad---Mechanical Engg.
4 YMCA Institute of Engg, Faridabad---Electrical Engg.
5 Deen Bandhu Chhotu Ram Univ. of Sc. and Tech, Murthal, Sonipat---Computer Engg.
6 YMCA Institute of Engg, Faridabad---Information Technology
7 Deen Bandhu Chhotu Ram Univ. of Sc. and Tech, Murthal, Sonipat---Electronics and Communication Engg.
8 Deen Bandhu Chhotu Ram Univ. of Sc. and Tech, Murthal, Sonipat---Mechanical Engg.
9 YMCA Institute of Engg, Faridabad---Electronics and Instrumentation
10 Deen Bandhu Chhotu Ram Univ. of Sc. and Tech, Murthal, Sonipat---Electrical Engg.
11 Deen Bandhu Chhotu Ram Univ. of Sc. and Tech, Murthal, Sonipat---Civil Engg.
12 University Instt. of Engg. and Tech, Kurukshetra University, Kurukshetra---Mechanical Engg.
13 Deen Bandhu Chhotu Ram Univ. of Sc. and Tech, Murthal, Sonipat---Chemical Engg.
14 University Instt. of Engg. and Tech, Kurukshetra University, Kurukshetra---Computer Science and Engg.
15 Technological Instt. of Textiles and Sciences, Birla Colony, Bhiwani---Textile Chemistry
16 University Instt. of Engg. and Tech, Kurukshetra University, Kurukshetra---Electronics and Communication Engg.
17 Guru Jambheshwar University of Science and Technology, Hisar---Mechanical Engg.
18 Deen Bandhu Chhotu Ram Univ. of Sc. and Tech, Murthal, Sonipat---Bio Technology
19 University Instt. of Engg. and Tech, Maharishi Dayanand University, Rohtak---Mechanical Engg.
20 Seth Jaiprakash Mukandlal Inst. of Engg and Tech, Radaur, Yamunanagar---Computer Science and Engg.
21 Technological Instt. of Textiles and Sciences, Birla Colony, Bhiwani---Computer Science and Engg.
22 University Instt. of Engg. and Tech, Maharishi Dayanand University, Rohtak---Computer Science and Engg.
23 University Instt. of Engg. and Tech, Maharishi Dayanand University, Rohtak---Electronics and Communication Engg.
24 Deen Bandhu Chhotu Ram Univ. of Sc. and Tech, Murthal, Sonipat---Bio Medical Engg.
25 Seth Jaiprakash Mukandlal Inst. of Engg and Tech, Radaur, Yamunanagar---Electronics and Communication Engg.
26 Seth Jaiprakash Mukandlal Inst. of Engg and Tech, Radaur, Yamunanagar---Mechanical Engg.
27 University Instt. of Engg. and Tech, Maharishi Dayanand University, Rohtak---Civil Engg.
28 University Instt. of Engg. and Tech, Kurukshetra University, Kurukshetra---Bio Technology
29 University Instt. of Engg. and Tech, Maharishi Dayanand University, Rohtak---Electrical Engg.
30 Guru Jambheshwar University of Science and Technology, Hisar---Electronics and Communication Engg.
31 Guru Jambheshwar University of Science and Technology, Hisar---Computer Science and Engg.
32 Seth Jaiprakash Mukandlal Inst. of Engg and Tech, Radaur, Yamunanagar---Electrical Engg.
33 Seth Jaiprakash Mukandlal Inst. of Engg and Tech, Radaur, Yamunanagar---Information Technology
34 Ch. Devi Lal Mem Engg. College, Paniwala Motta, Sirsa---Mechanical Engg.
35 College of Agriculture Engg. and Tech., Ch. Charan Singh Haryana Agricultural University, Hisar---Agriculture Engg.
36 Technological Instt. of Textiles and Sciences, Birla Colony, Bhiwani---Electronics and Communication Engg.
37 Manav Rachna College of Engg., Faridabad---Computer Science and Engg.
38 Guru Jambheshwar University of Science and Technology, Hisar---Information Technology
39 Manav Rachna College of Engg., Faridabad---Mechanical Engg.
40 Ch. Devi Lal Mem Engg. College, Paniwala Motta, Sirsa---Civil Engg.
41 Institute of Instrumentation Engg, Kurukshetra University, Kurukshetra---Instrumention Engg
42 Ch. Devi Lal Mem Engg. College, Paniwala Motta, Sirsa---Electronics and Communication Engg.
43 Ch. Devi Lal Mem Engg. College, Paniwala Motta, Sirsa---Computer Science and Engg.
44 Ch. Devi Lal Mem Engg. College, Paniwala Motta, Sirsa---Electrical Engg.
45 Technological Instt. of Textiles and Sciences, Birla Colony, Bhiwani---Textile Technology
46 Technological Instt. of Textiles and Sciences, Birla Colony, Bhiwani---Electronics and Instrumentation
47 Technological Instt. of Textiles and Sciences, Birla Colony, Bhiwani---Information Technology
48 Seth Jaiprakash Mukandlal Inst. of Engg and Tech, Radaur, Yamunanagar---Chemical Engg.
49 Manav Rachna College of Engg., Faridabad---Electronics and Communication Engg.
50 Vaish College of Engg., Rohtak---Mechanical Engg.
51 Seth Jaiprakash Mukandlal Inst. of Engg and Tech, Radaur, Yamunanagar---Applied Electronics and Instrumentation
52 University Instt. of Engg. and Tech, Maharishi Dayanand University, Rohtak---Bio Technology
53 Ambala College of Engg and App. Research, Mithapur, Ambala---Computer Science and Engg.
54 Manav Rachna College of Engg., Faridabad---Information Technology
55 Guru Jambheshwar University of Science and Technology, Hisar---Packaging Technology
56 Ambala College of Engg and App. Research, Mithapur, Ambala---Mechanical Engg.
57 Ch. Devi Lal Mem Engg. College, Paniwala Motta, Sirsa---Food Technology
58 Hindu College of Engg., Sonipat---Mechanical Engg.
59 Guru Jambheshwar University of Science and Technology, Hisar---Food Engg.
60 Guru Jambheshwar University of Science and Technology, Hisar---Printing  and Packaging Technology
61 Seth Jaiprakash Mukandlal Inst. of Engg and Tech, Radaur, Yamunanagar---Bio Technology
62 Manav Rachna College of Engg., Faridabad---Electronics and Communication Engg. (2nd shift)
63 Ambala College of Engg and App. Research, Mithapur, Ambala---Electronics and Communication Engg.
64 Manav Rachna College of Engg., Faridabad---Computer Science and Engg. (2nd shift)
65 Guru Jambheshwar University of Science and Technology, Hisar---Bio Medical Engg.
66 Dronacharya College of Engg, Frukhnagar, Gurgaon---Mechanical Engg.
67 BSA Institute of Technology and Management, Ballabgarh Sohna Road, Alampur, District Faridabad---Mechanical Engg.
68 Hindu College of Engg., Sonipat---Computer Science and Engg.
69 Jai Parkash Mukand Lal Innovative Engg. And Technology Institute, Radaur, District Yamunanagar---Computer Science and Engg.
70 Vaish College of Engg., Rohtak---Computer Science and Engg.
71 Vaish College of Engg., Rohtak---Electrical Engg.
72 Technological Instt. of Textiles and Sciences, Birla Colony, Bhiwani---Fashion and Apparel Engg.
73 Institute of Mass Communication and Media Tech., Kurukshetra University, Kurukshetra---Printing Graphics and Packaging
74 Hindu College of Engg., Sonipat---Civil Engg.
75 Bhagwan Mahavir Jain Institute of Tech, Sonipat---Electrical and Electronics Engg.
76 Jan Nayak Ch. Devilal College of Engg, Sirsa---Mechanical Engg.
77 Vaish College of Engg., Rohtak---Electronics and Communication Engg.
78 Kurukshetra Instt. of Tech. and Mgt., Kurukshetra---Mechanical Engg.
79 BRCM College of Engg. and Technology, Bahal, Bhiwani---Civil Engg.
80 Gurgaon College of Engg. , Bilaspur Tauru Road, Gurgaon---Civil Engg.
81 Dronacharya College of Engg, Frukhnagar, Gurgaon---Computer Engg.
82 Sh. Baba Mast Nath Institute of Engg. College, Asthal Bohar, Rohtak---Electrical Engg.
83 BRCM College of Engg. and Technology, Bahal, Bhiwani---Mechanical Engg.
84 Dronacharya College of Engg, Frukhnagar, Gurgaon---Civil Engg.
85 Lingayas GVKS Institute of Management and Tech., Kanwara, Old Faridabad, Jasand Road, Faridabad---Computer Sc. and Engg
86 Hindu College of Engg., Sonipat---Electronics and Communication Engg.
87 Bhagwan Mahavir Jain Institute of Tech, Sonipat---Computer Science and Engg.
88 Vaish College of Engg., Rohtak---Information Technology
89 Gurgaon Instt. Of Technology and Mgt., Gurgaon---Mechanical Engg.
90 Dronacharya College of Engg, Frukhnagar, Gurgaon---Electronics and Communication Engg.
91 Jai Parkash Mukand Lal Innovative Engg. And Technology Institute, Radaur, District Yamunanagar---Electronics and Communication Engg.
92 Jan Nayak Ch. Devilal College of Engg, Sirsa---Civil Engg.
93 Hindu College of Engg., Sonipat---Electrical Engg.
94 Sh. Baba Mast Nath Institute of Engg. College, Asthal Bohar, Rohtak---Civil Engg.
95 Echelon Institute of Technology, Village Kabulpur, District Faridabad---Mechanical Engg.
96 Lingayas GVKS Institute of Management and Tech., Kanwara, Old Faridabad, Jasand Road, Faridabad---Electronics and Communication Engg.
97 Lingayas GVKS Institute of Management and Tech., Kanwara, Old Faridabad, Jasand Road, Faridabad---Information Technology
98 BSA Institute of Technology and Management, Ballabgarh Sohna Road, Alampur, District Faridabad---Computer Engg.
99 NC College of Engg., Israna, District Panipat---Civil Engg.
100 BRCM College of Engg. and Technology, Bahal, Bhiwani---Electronics and Communication Engg.
101 Bhagwan Mahavir Jain Institute of Tech, Sonipat---Information Technology
102 Gurgaon Instt. Of Technology and Mgt., Gurgaon---Electronics and Communication Engg.
103 Gurgaon Instt. Of Technology and Mgt., Gurgaon---Electronics and Communication Engg. (2nd shift)
104 Dronacharya College of Engg, Frukhnagar, Gurgaon---Electronics and Computer Engg.
105 Kurukshetra Instt. of Tech. and Mgt., Kurukshetra---Computer Science and Engg.
106 NC College of Engg., Israna, District Panipat---Mechanical Engg.
107 NC College of Engg., Israna, District Panipat---Computer Sc. and Engg
108 Advanced Institute of Technology and Management, Delhi Mathura Road, Palwal, Faridabad---Electronics and Comm. Engg.
109 BRCM College of Engg. and Technology, Bahal, Bhiwani---Electrical and Electronics Engg.
110 BSA Institute of Technology and Management, Ballabgarh Sohna Road, Alampur, District Faridabad---Information Technology
111 Dronacharya College of Engg, Frukhnagar, Gurgaon---Information Technology
112 KIIT College of Engg., Sohna Bhondsi Road, Gurgaon---Computer Sc. and Engg
113 Geeta Institute of Management and Technology, Kanipla, GT Road, District Kurukshetra---Civil Engg.
114 Kurukshetra Instt. of Tech. and Mgt., Kurukshetra---Electronics and Communication Engg.
115 Echelon Institute of Technology, Village Kabulpur, District Faridabad---Electronics and Communication Engg.
116 Jan Nayak Ch. Devilal College of Engg, Sirsa---Electrical and Electronics Engg.
117 BSA Institute of Technology and Management, Ballabgarh Sohna Road, Alampur, District Faridabad---Electronics and Communication Engg.
118 Sh. Baba Mast Nath Institute of Engg. College, Asthal Bohar, Rohtak---Electronics and Communication Engg.
119 Haryana College of Technology and Management, Ambala Road, Kaithal---Mechanical Engg.
120 Sh. Baba Mast Nath Institute of Engg. College, Asthal Bohar, Rohtak---Mechanical Engg.
121 Jan Nayak Ch. Devilal College of Engg, Sirsa---Computer Science and Engg.
122 P.D.M. College of Engg.,  Bahadurgarh, Jhajjar---Mechanical Engg.
123 Jai Parkash Mukand Lal Innovative Engg. And Technology Institute, Radaur, District Yamunanagar---Mechanical Engg.
124 Bhagwan Mahavir Jain Institute of Tech, Sonipat---Electronics and Communication Engg.
125 BRCM College of Engg. and Technology, Bahal, Bhiwani---Computer Science and Engg.
126 KIIT College of Engg., Sohna Bhondsi Road, Gurgaon---Civil Engg.
127 Echelon Institute of Technology, Village Kabulpur, District Faridabad---Computer Sc. and Engg
128 NC College of Engg., Israna, District Panipat---Electronics and Communication Engg.
129 P.D.M. College of Engg.,  Bahadurgarh, Jhajjar---Electronics and Communication Engg.
130 Panipat Institute of Engg. And Technology, Samalkha, District Panipat---Computer Sc. and Engg
131 Jai Parkash Mukand Lal Innovative Engg. And Technology Institute, Radaur, District Yamunanagar---Civil Engg.
132 Gurgaon College of Engg. , Bilaspur Tauru Road, Gurgaon---Mechanical Engg.
133 Ambala College of Engg and App. Research, Mithapur, Ambala---Bio Technology
134 Jan Nayak Ch. Devilal College of Engg, Sirsa---Electronics and Communication Engg.
135 Haryana College of Technology and Management, Ambala Road, Kaithal---Computer Science and Engg.
136 P.D.M. College of Engg.,  Bahadurgarh, Jhajjar---Computer Science and Engg.
137 Advanced College of Technology and Management, Village Aurangabad, Tehsil Hodal, District Palwal---Electronics and Communication Engg.
138 Jan Nayak Ch. Devilal College of Engg, Sirsa---Information Technology
139 Geeta Institute of Management and Technology, Kanipla, GT Road, District Kurukshetra---Computer Sc. and Engg
140 P.D.M. College of Engg.,  Bahadurgarh, Jhajjar---Mechanical Engg. (2nd Shift)
141 Haryana College of Technology and Management, Ambala Road, Kaithal---Civil Engg.
142 Haryana College of Technology and Management, Ambala Road, Kaithal---Electronics and Communication Engg.
143 Advanced Institute of Technology and Management, Delhi Mathura Road, Palwal, Faridabad---Mechanical Engg.
144 Advanced College of Technology and Management, Village Aurangabad, Tehsil Hodal, District Palwal---Electrical and Electronics Engg.
145 Geeta Institute of Management and Technology, Kanipla, GT Road, District Kurukshetra---Electronics and Comm. Engg.
146 Gurgaon Instt. Of Technology and Mgt., Gurgaon---Computer Science and Engg.
147 Geeta Institute of Management and Technology, Kanipla, GT Road, District Kurukshetra---Mechanical Engg.
148 Haryana Institute of Technology, Bahadurgarh, District Jhajjar---Mechanical Engg.
149 Echelon Institute of Technology, Village Kabulpur, District Faridabad---Civil Engg.
150 Haryana Institute of Technology, Bahadurgarh, District Jhajjar---Computer Sc. and Engg